Friends,
I wanted to take some time here and write to you about our upcoming SuperBooks offering entitled, Transforming: the Bible and the Lives of Transgender Christians and its personal effect on me.
Our synod, in September 2019 (that’s my first Fall in Wisconsin), held an event of learning and growth concerning transgender issues and especially transgender Christians. It was led by the Synod Staff and Synod RIC (Reconciling in Christ) Team.
Austen Hartke, the author of our upcoming SuperBook, came to Wauwatosa and spoke for 2 hours about it at an ELCA church there.
I want to be very honest with you. I went because I felt as a new pastor in the synod that I had to. I was asked to go, and I felt I could not say no, especially when the event was so close to my own home.
I knew very little about transgender issues. Before coming to Wisconsin, I fully supported gender equality and sexual orientation rights, and for me—growing up LCMS—that was a huge deal in itself. But the “T”, I wasn’t sure about. I wasn’t anti-Trans, I just didn’t know about it.
And then, I read the first half of Austen’s book, and went to the event.
I cannot express to you the Spirit that filled that room in the Tosa church. To hear someone express their faith, their journey through transition and also the words of the Bible regarding homosexuality and trans… I was deeply moved, and a bit shamed.
You see, I realized then that I did know trans people in my life. I just didn’t know that that’s what they were. And I felt that even though I supported my friends and members who had shared that they were homosexual—I didn’t open myself to see them as individuals with different views and understandings of orientation and gender. I just kind of lumped them all together. Looking back, I had thought I was open minded, but honestly, I was still quite ignorant.
Later that same month, I shared my attendance and my support of Austen and their book, Transforming, on Facebook. Within the month, I had heard from previous parents, youth and more that I had pastored over the years, letting me know of their own (or someone I knew) transition. They asked for prayers, they shared their concerns, and I let them know that they were children of God and that I supported them.
People at Bay Shore also began sharing with me about grandchildren, neighbors, friends and more who were transitioning. Some were accepting, some had difficulties. I understand all of that. I would, too. It’s a lot to think about. You can’t just flip a switch and see someone you have known, perhaps since birth, with a new understanding, right? It takes time.
Because of Austen, and my further reading, I learned the importance of pronouns and began using them on my emails that Fall in 2019 as well. Our Synod office actually encouraged it for our congregations and clergy.
Now, Bay Shore, I am as feminine cis-gender straight woman as you can be, right? So, why do I need to announce that in my emails and such, like saying “she/her” at the time of introductions?
Because it lets those who see/hear that “she/her” know that I am open to THEM sharing their pronouns, and especially as a pastor, I will accept them and use their preferred pronouns once they share them with me. And, if YOU have a loved one who is trans or non-binary, you also know that your pastor will accept your loved one, too.
The next summer, I married a couple that I had known for a long time. One was trans (I knew this person before transition) and the other was non-binary. It was important for them to be married by a pastor, but it was more important for them to be accepted as they were.
I am happy to say that I did that, because as I shared with their families, I was marrying two souls. And frankly, I was so happy that they even wanted a pastor to do the ceremony when now many people–no matter their orientation–do NOT seek clergy officiants as much as before. Perhaps you have noticed this, too.
Much of this essay and its details, I have shared before at discussions here at Bay Shore. But I wanted to say it all again, for everyone to see and read themselves.
Why do I feel it is important to share it?
Because I understand, Bay Shore, that the idea of a person being transgender is difficult for some of our members. I also understand that “trans” has been used politically, much as politics has used other marginalized people in the past. I understand that this is a hard topic to talk about. I do.
And because of that, I sincerely ask for you to read the book, Transforming by Austen Hartke. You will NOT feel shamed for coming to the table with concerns, questions and disbelief. I believe that if you are able to read Austen’s book, and come on Dec. 7, we all can have an open discussion about concerns as a community.
I know a lot of conversations have happened about LGBTQIA+ in our community here at Bay Shore and in the greater Milwaukee community and within our synod. But for us, here at Bay Shore, it’s important to continue to talk. Bay Shore is a small congregation where everyone is known, and everyone is needed. But most of all, everyone is loved by God and loved for who they are.
This book is a good tool to learn about trans, and a good start to a deeper conversation. I found it personally helpful, as someone again who didn’t understand all of the changes as fast as they were coming my way. It’s taken me years of conversation and growth and prayer to be where I am now, as a person and pastor. And this book–it launched that for me. Perhaps it will help you, too.
As always, if you have any questions, please connect with me privately.
In Christ,
Pastor Sarah
